Today was difficult and I found myself struggling to get into anything properly. I originally intended to go to an event on art schools in Falmer but there are problems on that train line and I realised it would be impossible to get there and back in one day without being completely exhausted so I did not go. Instead I decided to start thinking about my presentation for this semester. I think I will focus on Performance Magazine which was founded in the 1970s and intend to consider its impact on live art in general.

That was the plan but I could not resist looking at a book I got from the university library that my tutor recommended - Aoife Monks’ The Actor in Costume. Monks explores the idea that the act of putting on a costume or ‘costuming’ comes with risks and possibilities for the bodies and psyches of actor and audience alike. This feels very pertinent to me as a struggle with the reality of subjecting my interest in dressing up to an academic process which leads me to reflect on the choices I made when devising HALA’s costume. My essay last semester focussed on the work of Oreet Ashery who is a master of costuming and its potential effects on the audience. Her work as her alter ego, an orthodox Jewish man, Marcus Fisher allowed audience members the opportunity to explore whatever issues they might have with orthodox Judaism. Her alter ego acts as a mirror, in which the viewer is confronted with their relationship to those they consider different or ‘other’. Aoife' Monks’ focus on costume and costuming is extremely helpful because I struggle with the concept of an alter ego because it is too limited. I prefer Jung’s idea of shadow selves which allows for various versions of ourself or identity.

I procrastinated a lot today and did not work on the presentation I have to do. I listened to Blindboy’s podcast ‘Bunsens Junk’ podcast in which he talks about his own challenges with procrastination and how he embraces failure which was helpful in reminding me that I am not alone in facing these difficulties. His podcasts are very informative and entertaining and I thoroughly recommend them.